Goggle Tan Glory

April 20, 2016 in Slope Stories - No Comments

For any ski bum or super enthusiast, getting a goggle tan is a sign of success. It tells other skiers and snowboarders that you worked hard this season. And it also says that you don’t care if non-skiers look befuddled by your dirty face in non-mountain settings. You came. You saw. You conquered. Well done.

If you want to join the ranks of majestic goggle tans, here’s what to do:

Never take your goggles off.
You might think that the sun exposure while you’re skiing or riding would be enough to get that definitive goggle tan line, but most of the time it’s not. When you stop to take a breather on the side of the trail, face the sun, chin pointed up, and soak it in. If your rumbling stomach leads you to lunch, sit outside, despite any chilly temperatures. I wouldn’t go so far to say that you should wear them to drive or into the tanning bed, but who am I to tell you how to live your life?

Always wear protection.
Goggle tanning is tough on the skin. You’ve seen the weathered old guff with a leathery goggle tan, but what you want is super smooth skin with a healthy, goggle-shaped glow. Ladies, wearing a tinted moisturizer with SPF is a great place to start, but everyone should do a few slathers of sunscreen throughout the ski day to keep things supple.


Adapt to nature.
You’ll never get the perfect goggle lines without conditioning your face to withstand the elements. Whether it’s 60 degrees or in the teens, freeing your cheeks of gaiters and giant coat collars will help develop your face into an unstoppable force that feels no sun, sleet, or snow. Sure, you might get a little bit of frost bite, but that will only add to the intensity when you show your goggle tan proudly.

Take matters into your own hands.
So, you didn’t ski as much as you’d planned this season, but still want to deceptively show your dedication to the sport? Sunless tanners will fix that. Use an old pair of goggles, and rub that fake tan into your face like your life depended on it. You might be mistaken for an oompa loompa on skis, but what’s important is looking the part of the ultimate ski bum.

Go skiing…a lot.
The simplest and most authentic way to score a goggle tan is just getting out on the hill. Whether you lay down some solo carves or make turns with your buddies, you’re guaranteed to have a good time. After all, what’s the point of pursuing the dirty face if you’re slacking on slope time?

Sunday River

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